Archive for January, 2010

The Joy of a Child’s Laughter

It seems that no matter how bad my day is, one little gummy smile and giggle from Aubrey makes everything better.  I never really knew how much joy such a simple thing could bring.  I’ve been having a lot of issues with my back lately (4 herniated discs to be exact) and just leaning over to pick Aubrey up can be excruciating.  All it takes for me to ignore the pain is one little giggle from her.  It is really amazing how that little gurgly giggle can make all the pain worthile.

I’m still pretty frustrated over the issues with my back, but I’ve come to realize that there is nothing I can do at this point to change it so I’ve got to keep on trucking.  I am actually surprised at myself I have a nightstand filled with all kinds of medication for pain relief and I’ve maybe taken 2 in the past week.  I know that whatever I take passes through my breast milk and can affect Aubrey.  They can tell me it is safe all they want, but if it makes me sleep what will it do to the baby?  I’m pissed that my doctor tells me not to lift Aubrey in the car seat, not to carry her up and down stairs. I don’t think she realizes how unrealistic those demands are. I’m home alone with Aubrey all day.  Am I to not go downstairs to eat?  Am I not to carry her in her car seat for doctor’s appointments?  I can’t avoid carrying her which I know doesn’t help my back, but what choice do I have?

Aubrey goes to the doctor this morning and I cannot wait!  I’m praying that they don’t balk when I say I want to do a delayed vaccination schedule.  She’s my child and it is my decision.  Had I of not been so out of it from surgery she wouldn’t have received the Hep B vaccine right after birth that made her miserable.  I’m excited to see how much she weighs now.  I’m willing to bet she’s about 9 pounds.  I’m praying she’s a bit over because that means the Zantac is helping.  I’m so frustrated with her reflux it is unreal.  I know she’s frustrated too.  We’re going to talk to the doctor today about supplementing her with a formula that has rice starch in it.  I’ve tried it since the 4th using a can that I bought with some coupons I got.  It seems to be making a difference, but WIC doesn’t cover the formula.  I am hoping that if Dr. Minter writes a prescription for it that WIC will cover it and let me exchange the cans I have now for it.  If not we’re screwed because I simply cannot afford it.  It is so frustrating that we can’t afford formula, but it’s expensive.  I may just end up having to add cereal to her milk which is what I was trying to avoid.

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One Day at a Time

I’ve tried taking life one day at a time, but it seems several days attack me at once.  I had my 2nd MRI today after the one last week that they apparently screwed up.  I was done by about 9:30, came home and crashed in the bed with Aubrey.  After we woke up I went about my mommy duties and cleaned the house.  Apparently, while feeding Aubrey my cellphone was ringing off the hook.  My doctor’s nurse was trying to call and left me like 3 voicemails saying I need to come in TOMORROW to talk about my MRI results.  What the frick? I have an appointment Thursday.  What the hell is so important that I have to be there first thing tomorrow morning?  What is so important that you had to leave 3 seperate voicemails telling me to come in tomorrow?

Is an alien going to burst out of my back at any time now?  Am I going to explode?  Did the surgeon leave his keys in me during my c-section? I’m attempting to remain calm, but leaving voicemails like that 5 minutes before the office closed pisses me off.  Of course now I get to sit all night and think about all the possibilities.  I’m assuming it’s something bad.  If the MRI showed nothing they would let me keep my appointment Thursday right?  Yes I’m being a negative nelly and I do not care.

On a good note though, I am going to Kansas!!  I’ll be going some time next month.  It looks like it will be from around the 13th to the 21st.  I’ll be taking Aubrey with me.  Shane has a definite lack of mammary glands so it’s best if she travel with her source of food.  I’m nervous as hell about taking a baby on a plane.  I’m so excited that I get to see everyone though.  I haven’t seen any of my family there in over 2 years and I cannot wait.  I’m going to miss Shane, but it will be nice to get away from South Kackalacky for a while. 

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The ramblings of a sleep deprived mommy

Well, it’s 5 in the morning.  Have I slept yet?  Absolutely not.  Want to know why? Well, I’m going to tell you anyway.  Aubrey has slept all night and for some illogical reason when she sleeps through the night I’m incapable of sleeping.  I have no idea why this is, but I am sure I will be a grumpy gus today.  Poor Shane.

So, it is 5 in the morning and I’m sitting here thinking about all that lies ahead this month.  First off I’m going to start selling Thirty One.  I’m actually really excited about this since I love the products, but I’m nervous about letting myself, Shane and my sister-in-law Becky down.  I’m so worried about doing sales in Florence because I don’t know anyone here other than Shane’s family.  The plan for now is to drive to Sumter where I know people and I know I can get sales, but what about afterward.  I’m not going to want to drive an hour a few times a week for parties.  Who knows maybe one of these days I’ll make a friend here.  It is so lonely living in a town where you don’t know anyone.  I spend my days locked in the house with Aubrey.  I’m not necessarily complaining, it just gets a bit depressing at times.  I feel like a lonely 8th grader standing against the wall at the school dance while everyone else has a great time.  I love my life at home with Aubrey and Shane, but I can help wishing that I had someone my own gender and my own age to share some of this with.  It would be nice just to have someone here to go grab a bite to eat with, go workout with and actually have an adult conversation with.  I can do all of that with my husband yes, but it’s not the same as having a friend.  I have Amanda, who I love dearly but she is an hour away.  I wish I had an Amanda in Florence.  She is the best friend I have and it kills me being so far away from her.

Well, I’m super excited about starting to sell Thirty One and I’m even going to sell Avon too.  I may not make a lot of money off of it, but I should make enough that I won’t have to go back to work outside of the house.  I loathe the thought of a daycare raising Aubrey.  I know that a lot of mom’s have no other choice and I may end up having to put her in daycare one day, but for now I want to spend every moment I can with the blessing that God gave me.

We’re also moving in a couple of weeks.  We have an apartment picked out and as soon as taxes roll in we’re moving!  Words can’t even describe how excited I am.  Shane’s parents have been wonderful enough to allow us to stay here for 6 months, but it’s time for us to leave.  I’m so happy!  It will be nice to feel like an independent adult again.  I’m going to miss Shane’s mom so much though.  Peggy has really been a blessing and Aubrey is going to miss seeing her every day.   Peggy has spent time with Aubrey virtually every day of her life.  Yet, my mother hasn’t even met her youngest grandchild.  I’m so hurt and disappointed by that.  It really bothers me that my mother can fly to Ohio to visit my sister, but she cannot drive the hour and fifteen minutes to meet her youngest grandchild.

On a positive note:  Aubrey has her 2 month check-up this week and I think the little chunker has finally hit 9 pounds!  It’s sad that most babies are born weighing that and she’s just now getting there.  She’s perfectly healthy though, just petite.  After she gets her shots and everything it’s off to get her ears pierced.  I can’t wait to see them done.  Well, I can just because I don’t want to hear her cry, but she’s going to look so pretty.

All in all this is going to be one busy month, but a great start to the year.  We’re moving, I’m starting a job that I think I will love and Aubrey is 2 months old.  Well, I suppose I should go to bed, it’s still dark out so maybe I’ll get a couple hours of sleep.

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What’s in a name?

Why the Peek-a-boo Chronicles do you ask?  When I made the decision at 3 in the morning to start a blog I had to of course think of a name for it.  What would be the perfect name for my blog?  What would represent me and this stage in my life?  Well, the way I figure it with a new baby I will probably be playing quite a bit of peek-a-boo in the coming months and years.  Since Aubrey is my favorite child, by default, I will most likely spend my time blogging about her.  And Peek-a-boo Chronicles was born at 3:30 in the morning on a Monday.  I wanted an easy way to chronicle the adventures and misadventures of this lovely journey called motherhood.  My daughter just turned 8-weeks-old and in the course of those 8-weeks I have discovered that when in doubt: “wing it”.  I envy the mother’s who make being a mom look easy.  This is by far the toughest job I have ever had.  It is also the most rewarding.  Every day I spend with Aubrey makes all the pain, tears and lack of sleep worth it.  Every smile makes me thankful that I have these precious moments with her, good and bad. 

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