The ramblings of a sleep deprived mommy

Well, it’s 5 in the morning.  Have I slept yet?  Absolutely not.  Want to know why? Well, I’m going to tell you anyway.  Aubrey has slept all night and for some illogical reason when she sleeps through the night I’m incapable of sleeping.  I have no idea why this is, but I am sure I will be a grumpy gus today.  Poor Shane.

So, it is 5 in the morning and I’m sitting here thinking about all that lies ahead this month.  First off I’m going to start selling Thirty One.  I’m actually really excited about this since I love the products, but I’m nervous about letting myself, Shane and my sister-in-law Becky down.  I’m so worried about doing sales in Florence because I don’t know anyone here other than Shane’s family.  The plan for now is to drive to Sumter where I know people and I know I can get sales, but what about afterward.  I’m not going to want to drive an hour a few times a week for parties.  Who knows maybe one of these days I’ll make a friend here.  It is so lonely living in a town where you don’t know anyone.  I spend my days locked in the house with Aubrey.  I’m not necessarily complaining, it just gets a bit depressing at times.  I feel like a lonely 8th grader standing against the wall at the school dance while everyone else has a great time.  I love my life at home with Aubrey and Shane, but I can help wishing that I had someone my own gender and my own age to share some of this with.  It would be nice just to have someone here to go grab a bite to eat with, go workout with and actually have an adult conversation with.  I can do all of that with my husband yes, but it’s not the same as having a friend.  I have Amanda, who I love dearly but she is an hour away.  I wish I had an Amanda in Florence.  She is the best friend I have and it kills me being so far away from her.

Well, I’m super excited about starting to sell Thirty One and I’m even going to sell Avon too.  I may not make a lot of money off of it, but I should make enough that I won’t have to go back to work outside of the house.  I loathe the thought of a daycare raising Aubrey.  I know that a lot of mom’s have no other choice and I may end up having to put her in daycare one day, but for now I want to spend every moment I can with the blessing that God gave me.

We’re also moving in a couple of weeks.  We have an apartment picked out and as soon as taxes roll in we’re moving!  Words can’t even describe how excited I am.  Shane’s parents have been wonderful enough to allow us to stay here for 6 months, but it’s time for us to leave.  I’m so happy!  It will be nice to feel like an independent adult again.  I’m going to miss Shane’s mom so much though.  Peggy has really been a blessing and Aubrey is going to miss seeing her every day.   Peggy has spent time with Aubrey virtually every day of her life.  Yet, my mother hasn’t even met her youngest grandchild.  I’m so hurt and disappointed by that.  It really bothers me that my mother can fly to Ohio to visit my sister, but she cannot drive the hour and fifteen minutes to meet her youngest grandchild.

On a positive note:  Aubrey has her 2 month check-up this week and I think the little chunker has finally hit 9 pounds!  It’s sad that most babies are born weighing that and she’s just now getting there.  She’s perfectly healthy though, just petite.  After she gets her shots and everything it’s off to get her ears pierced.  I can’t wait to see them done.  Well, I can just because I don’t want to hear her cry, but she’s going to look so pretty.

All in all this is going to be one busy month, but a great start to the year.  We’re moving, I’m starting a job that I think I will love and Aubrey is 2 months old.  Well, I suppose I should go to bed, it’s still dark out so maybe I’ll get a couple hours of sleep.


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