The Joy of a Child’s Laughter

It seems that no matter how bad my day is, one little gummy smile and giggle from Aubrey makes everything better.  I never really knew how much joy such a simple thing could bring.  I’ve been having a lot of issues with my back lately (4 herniated discs to be exact) and just leaning over to pick Aubrey up can be excruciating.  All it takes for me to ignore the pain is one little giggle from her.  It is really amazing how that little gurgly giggle can make all the pain worthile.

I’m still pretty frustrated over the issues with my back, but I’ve come to realize that there is nothing I can do at this point to change it so I’ve got to keep on trucking.  I am actually surprised at myself I have a nightstand filled with all kinds of medication for pain relief and I’ve maybe taken 2 in the past week.  I know that whatever I take passes through my breast milk and can affect Aubrey.  They can tell me it is safe all they want, but if it makes me sleep what will it do to the baby?  I’m pissed that my doctor tells me not to lift Aubrey in the car seat, not to carry her up and down stairs. I don’t think she realizes how unrealistic those demands are. I’m home alone with Aubrey all day.  Am I to not go downstairs to eat?  Am I not to carry her in her car seat for doctor’s appointments?  I can’t avoid carrying her which I know doesn’t help my back, but what choice do I have?

Aubrey goes to the doctor this morning and I cannot wait!  I’m praying that they don’t balk when I say I want to do a delayed vaccination schedule.  She’s my child and it is my decision.  Had I of not been so out of it from surgery she wouldn’t have received the Hep B vaccine right after birth that made her miserable.  I’m excited to see how much she weighs now.  I’m willing to bet she’s about 9 pounds.  I’m praying she’s a bit over because that means the Zantac is helping.  I’m so frustrated with her reflux it is unreal.  I know she’s frustrated too.  We’re going to talk to the doctor today about supplementing her with a formula that has rice starch in it.  I’ve tried it since the 4th using a can that I bought with some coupons I got.  It seems to be making a difference, but WIC doesn’t cover the formula.  I am hoping that if Dr. Minter writes a prescription for it that WIC will cover it and let me exchange the cans I have now for it.  If not we’re screwed because I simply cannot afford it.  It is so frustrating that we can’t afford formula, but it’s expensive.  I may just end up having to add cereal to her milk which is what I was trying to avoid.

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